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Abbott: Strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names. Costello: Funny names? Abbott: Nicknames, nicknames. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third– Costello: That’s what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team. Abbott: I’m telling you. Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third– Costello: You know the fellows’ names? Abbott: Yes. Costello: Well, then who’s playing first? Abbott: Yes. Costello: I mean the fellow’s name on first base. Abbott: Who. Costello: The fellow playin’ first base. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy on first base. Abbott: Who is on first. Costello: Well, what are you askin’ me for? Abbott: I’m not asking you–I’m telling you. Who is on first. Costello: I’m asking you–who’s on first? Abbott: That’s the man’s name. Costello: That’s who’s name? Abbott: Yes. Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man’s entitled to it. Costello: Who is? Abbott: Yes. Costello: So who gets it? Abbott: Why shouldn’t he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Costello: Who’s wife? Abbott: Yes. After all, the man earns it. Costello: Who does? Abbott: Absolutely. Costello: Well,...

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